There is a direct correlation between number of days counting down to 9's birthday and his absolute annoying behaviour - with each day closer, he doubles in irritation. And I don't know why I always forget about this, year after year. Probably self preservation.
He is trying to explain why it only makes good sense we give him his presents now, rather than wait until his actual birthday. In fact, it's a win-win situation ... for him. He gets presents now, we throw him a party for his birthday, he gets presents then. All good.
Except for the wrench I threw into his thinking, the wrench known as No Way.
This wrench, which totally messed up his well thought out plan, had him yelling, crying, tantruming and threatening to run away.
This then led to me yelling, not crying, swearing and threatening to send him away.
I said "I must be the worst parent ever because how else did I produce such a spoiled child and perhaps we should return the gifts because of your behaviour and also, this whole getting stuff throughout the year rather than waiting for a special occasion? OVER. DONE."
There was a really long happy moment after that comment, I tell you.
The only parent worse than me in 9's mind is his father. He also tried his failed logic on Husband, and I'm not exactly sure what was said, but 9 stormed out of the garage muttering DAMN YOU.
The only upside is that after 9's birthday, we count down to Christmas so we can begin this dance all over again.