Monday, July 4, 2011

Wanted: one exorcist

I now understand why women had children in their teens and 20s a generation or two ago because I'm surprised the combination of 14's and my hormonal upheaval hasn't set the world ablaze ... yet.

14's emotional outbursts has my head spinning so fast that I feel a little like Linda Blair from the Exorcist minus the green vomit. But it's not me that needs the exorcist, oh no... it's 14 (husband may wonder about a 2-for-1 special to deal with us both but he would be wise to keep that thinking to himself).

Some samplings:
  • Husband takes a quick look at 14's yearbook left on the coffee table and the words that came out of 14's mouth would make a pirate blush.
  • Husband asks 14 if he's wearing cologne and the rage: face red, seething, eyes watering, storming into the house waxing poetically of acts of revenge. Made me pretty happy I was on the other side of the table.  
  • Me innocently asking (from a safe distance of course) if 14 was okay and then explosions and swearing and finger pointing identifying us all as irritants.

I've taking to warning 9 that 14 is in a teenage mood and best to stay far away.

I have also taken to warning guests to come baring holy water and crucifixes ... you know, just to be safe.

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